Thursday, March 19, 2009


I often tell Levi
"I wish I had 7 more arms
so i can do this and deal with you!!!"

I dont even know where to begin.
Levi is Levi.
Levi is not an easy child.
Levi is considered a
'Brat' by most...or a difficult child.

Difficult child.....
I think i am the one
who gave him that title.
From the time he was able to crawl....
he has been into everything....
every little thing he could get his hands on
was either broken or messed up somehow.
I always say...."Who ARE your parents child?"

Even in his sleep this kid runs....
I wish i had 1/2 the energy he does!!
He goes on and on and on...
yes lol...just like the energizer bunny.
But you would think that he would run
out of energy by the end of the day right???
He lays in bed and pesters his brother until
I have lost my temper with him....
almost always even longer!

I go to bed almost every night wondering
what i could have done better that day.
How could i have held my temper better
when he got into something he shouldn't
have. How could i have dealt with
one situation or another better?

Last week, after much contemplation
and arguments between Tanner and I,
We broke down and put him on
some A.D.D Medication.

I never thought that I, as a mother,
would have to result to putting
my child on something because
I could not control him.

I felt like such a horrible mother.

Everybody i talked to gave me the
rundown on the medication.

*He would lose his appetite
*He would be VERY temperamental
for the first week.

Tomorrow will mark the end of the second week.
and while i can see a positive change in him
(so can his teachers)
He still cries at every little thing.

One Difficult night, after hours of fighting
with him...he asked me to sing him a song.
I chose "A Childs Prayer"
By the time i was finished he was in tears
A little overwhelmed and annoyed
I asked him why he was crying.
his responce was
"*SOB* That was such a cute *SOB* song"

Patience is a tough one for me!!!
I catch myself praying out loud
asking god to give me patience so
I can deal with Levi.....
Then I watched 'Evan Almighty'
When "GOD" said
"when you ask god for patience, he
give you ways to PRACTICE patience"

I cried over that knowing that
my prayer of finding an answer
had been indeed answered.

Levi is my Practice of Patience.

Tonight was another difficult night,
although he fell asleep within the hour,
another improvement.
I Quietly went into his room to tuck him in
and just sat there and wondered why
such a special little guy
chose me to be his mom.

I dont have the patience i should have.
I dont teach him the gospel like i should be
I do things he knows i shouldn't do....

and while i sit here and say to myself...
"Im going to change"
I know its just NOT that easy!

God did say
"I never said life was going to be easy,
I just said it would be worth it."

Sometimes i will watch other mothers
and wonder HOW they got their kids to be
so well behaved. HOW in the world did
she get them to mind like that??
Why cant i be like her???

Then i realized....

The grass is always greener somewhere else.

Despite the manure,
I feel incredibly fortunate to be on this side of the fence.

Im So thankful that god gave me my children.
I feel so blessed to know that he would
entrust in me to take care of such awesome
possessions!! He must have some sort of
Faith in me.....and for that.... i must go on!!!

I love Levi..... and there will ALWAYS be
tough times with him......
I just PRAY that we can both survive them!!!

Having 8 arms would only give me another
excuse to try and Multitask.
For now...ill keep just the two that i have...
And Hug each of my children....
enjoying the time that i have with them
instead of trying to keep up with the world.

Im going to bed tonight....
Counting each and every one of
my blessings.

I am one Lucky Mommy!!!



GermersinGrace said...

Don't worry about the ADD meds. I take them, my brother takes them, and my Dad takes them. No matter what people tell you, it is a real thing and not just in your head. It took me LONG time to accept that. People don't understand. We love you guys, and I am glad you have a blog too!